Confessions of Tortured Souls
by MissAmyR92
Summary: Told from two different perspectives. Warning: sensitive issues involved. See if you can guess which characters are involved.


**Confessions of Tortured Souls**

The bold font is one character speaking and the italics are another, when there's both fonts, they're both speaking! See if you can work out who they are and what's going on! No pairings. Please review. Amy x

_**He was the only father figure I knew. I thought he loved me like all my friend's dads loved them. Why did he hurt me?**_

_He was amazing at first._

**Took me to the park, pushed me on the swings, fed the ducks.**

_He treated me the same as my sister and we loved him equally._

**I could tell him anything and I knew I wouldn't get into trouble.**

_He held us all together when we were falling apart._

**He picked us up when our spirits were low. He had a cheeky smile that lit up the room and cheered everyone up.**

_Everyone would sing his praises; he wouldn't harm a fly they'd say._

_**If only they knew.**_

**He took a shine to me.**

_He took a shine to everyone else but me. _

**I enjoyed it for a while, the attention was nice.**

_I craved attention, became unruly, not the girl he wanted me to be._

**He always complemented me, made me feel special, I hadn't felt special for so long.**

_I felt worthless, disgusting, he made me hate myself._

**There were hints that his complements had a deeper meaning but I wasn't too sure, surely not?**

_I rebelled, the only way I describe it. I got in with the wrong crowd, hung around with guys a lot older than myself. I didn't particularly enjoy it, I only did it to annoy him to be honest._

**I was stuck for a while, I began having feelings that I hadn't experienced before and it scared me.**

_Pregnant. Not the way things were meant to turn out. Things weren't supposed to get that serious, just wanted to frighten him a little._

**I couldn't believe it when he said he liked me in THAT way. I just thought he was my new dad, not a boyfriend or something.**

_I didn't tell him, how could I? I hid it into he started to suspect something. Wore baggy jumpers until I got too big. He seemed fine with it at first, but I knew he was masking how he really felt._

**Then he kissed me. I was so confused at first, it couldn't be right surely? He'd acted like my dad for years and then he kissed me. **

_All through the pregnancy he pretended he was proud of me and that he was happy for me. When people sniggered at me, a child carrying a chid of her own, he just held his head up high. I thought he had changed._

**I couldn't tell anyone. It would ruin too many people's lives, including my own he said. If I told anyone, I'd be in trouble. So I didn't.**

_I should have known better though. Of course he hadn't change. Practically the minute my beautiful baby was born, he snatched her away from me. She'd be a grown woman now, and I miss her._

**I should have told someone really. But I was only a little girl back then, was too frightened. I couldn't tell my friends, I didn't trust any of them that much. And I couldn't possibly tell any of my family could I? Like they'd have believed me anyway. **

_God knows where she is now. I would love to see her or at least know something about her. Even just her name._

**Things got more serious though as he forced me back on to my bed one morning and made love to me. I was scared, I was too young I knew that and I was scared, I hadn't done it before. It hurt a bit, but I didn't say anything. After a while, I assumed all girls my age were doing the same and went along with it.**

_And after all these years, just when I thought he'd gone for good, he came back. I was just getting over the hurt and the pain that losing my baby had caused, and he came back to spread salt into the wound once again._

**He told me he loved me. That we'd run away together when I was old enough. And I believed him, I foolishly believed him.**

_There was a glimmer of hope that maybe he'd forgiven me after all these years and had changed into an actual father figure. That he'd treat me with love and respect now I was a grown woman, the way he treated everyone else. But I was wrong._

**I had the money and the inclination to run away, start a new life. He said one day we would, but he just kept putting it off and putting it off. Then he betrayed me in the worst way.**

_He still treated me the same way he did all those years ago. He was still ashamed of me, angry with me for behaving like that. I was just a child back then, I had grown up now and realised my mistakes. But he still hurt me, still had power and control over me._

**I trusted him, I had no reason not to. I waited for him all that time, I could have easily dated other boys but I didn't because I loved him. We were going to put a deposit on a flat, finally make a fresh start, but he just used my money. Bought gifts for HER, not me.**

_I still hated him after all these years. Why couldn't everyone else see his true colours? I tried to give him a chance to put things right but he just abused it and hurt me. I wasn't a kid any more, but he managed to frighten me, like he had done all those years ago._

**He was jealous when I talked to friends, especially boys. I had eyes for no one else but him but he didn't trust me. I put all my trust into him and he couldn't trust me back. Did he even love me at all?**

_He turned people against me, the people that meant the most to me. My own sister. I loved my sister like a mother loved her daughter, to make up for losing my own. But he managed to make them all turn their backs on me. Then I realised I had no one. _

**That's when it hit me. I'd been used. He never loved me at all. He preyed on me because I was a young girl, no real family, been passed from one person to another all my life and he knew I needed care and attention. He made me believe that we loved each other, when all along it was all lies.**

_So many failed relationships, one night stands. I could never commit to a man because when I looked into their eyes, I could see my father staring back. _

_**And it hurt. **_

**He had betrayed me, played me for a fool, for all these years. He had snatched my childhood from me. I had grown up far too quickly and I didn't even know myself anymore. I hadn't even imagined a life beyond him, so what did I do now?**

_To be honest, I hit a really rough patch. Buried my head in the sand as I did too much work and acted like everything was ok. What else could I do?_

**I wanted rid of him, I wanted to be free from his clutches. But there was no escape. We were living under the same roof and he had control over me. I was stuck, with no way out.**

_I couldn't go on like that forever. I tried to block out all thoughts about him, about men in general really. _

**So I found the strength to stand up for myself. I revealed everything. I wasn't believed at first but eventually I managed to persuade people I wasn't making it all up. It was the hardest decision I've ever had to make, tell the world about the years I'd been used and abused.**

_I tried to move on from my past, soothe my tortured soul. It was very tough at first, I admit. But I couldn't put my life on hold simply because I was dwelling on the past._

_**I made the right decision and I never looked back. I can lead a normal life, finally.**_

What do you think? Let me know by reviewing! Amy x


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